Also, Cars. Sometimes Mine.
The following post consists of Things Spotted In My Work Parking Lot. It's part one of two. And unlike previous blog posts where I promised a Part Two, there will actually be a sequel to this one. Promise.
Although these photos were not all taken on the same day, all of these things are still in the parking lot right now. Because I checked. Today.
Barbie's Leg
Let's get this started off with a bang, shall we? Somewhere in Oakland, a little girl is playing with a one-legged Barbie. Somewhere near our parking lot.
Dead Squirrel
As far as I can tell, this was at one time a squirrel or a rat or something. It must have gotten run over, and then dried up during a heat wave. Gross.
Smirnoff Ice Bottle, Broken
The only question is, did they drink it all before smashing the bottle? Because that shit ain't so good.
Silent Headphones
This is a set of headphones, with the headphones cut off. So it's really just a cord. Useful.
Festive Balloons
To be fair, these balloons may very well be the responsibility of my employer. Our "colors," as it were, are purple and gold. No, I do not work for the Lakers. Do you think I would still be friends with you losers if I did?
Specific Reference
The Bay Area Black Yellow Pages, 2008. This is the only item I found in the parking lot that I actually touched. I flipped it over to see which yellow pages it was.
You Put Your Weed In It
This appears to be some sort of hacky-sack ripoff, because there's no other use for a ball made of synthetic leather and full of stuffing. I can only assume this is what the ball is made of, because I did not touch it.
It Skips Sometimes
Along with the other trash, next to some weeds, is a CD. I suspect it is no longer listenable.
But It's Not Barbie's Size
This is a sock.
Still Life With Heroin
So, what's that up against the wall, next to the broken shards of glass and the concrete stump?
Mainlining It
Yes, it's a disposable syringe, with the cap on. And just to clarify: this syringe has been sitting in our parking lot for more than a year. I wonder if I could still get AIDS from using it.
Part Two is coming in a few days.
Although these photos were not all taken on the same day, all of these things are still in the parking lot right now. Because I checked. Today.
Barbie's Leg
Let's get this started off with a bang, shall we? Somewhere in Oakland, a little girl is playing with a one-legged Barbie. Somewhere near our parking lot.
Dead Squirrel
As far as I can tell, this was at one time a squirrel or a rat or something. It must have gotten run over, and then dried up during a heat wave. Gross.
Smirnoff Ice Bottle, Broken
The only question is, did they drink it all before smashing the bottle? Because that shit ain't so good.
Silent Headphones
This is a set of headphones, with the headphones cut off. So it's really just a cord. Useful.
Festive Balloons
To be fair, these balloons may very well be the responsibility of my employer. Our "colors," as it were, are purple and gold. No, I do not work for the Lakers. Do you think I would still be friends with you losers if I did?
Specific Reference
The Bay Area Black Yellow Pages, 2008. This is the only item I found in the parking lot that I actually touched. I flipped it over to see which yellow pages it was.
You Put Your Weed In It
This appears to be some sort of hacky-sack ripoff, because there's no other use for a ball made of synthetic leather and full of stuffing. I can only assume this is what the ball is made of, because I did not touch it.
It Skips Sometimes
Along with the other trash, next to some weeds, is a CD. I suspect it is no longer listenable.
But It's Not Barbie's Size
This is a sock.
Still Life With Heroin
So, what's that up against the wall, next to the broken shards of glass and the concrete stump?
Mainlining It
Yes, it's a disposable syringe, with the cap on. And just to clarify: this syringe has been sitting in our parking lot for more than a year. I wonder if I could still get AIDS from using it.
Part Two is coming in a few days.
posted by M at 11:29 PM
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