We're Running Out Of Time, Chloe

Seen in my Spam filter today:

You received this email because you are a client of, or expressed interest in, Uxoqcqvo Solutions.

I don't recall expressing interest in Uxoqcqvo Solutions. But then again, I express interest in a lot of things. Important things, mostly. So I don't want to ignore this e-mail. If I expressed interest in something, it stands to reason that I should follow up, even if I don't remember when or how I did so, or why.

But what to do? The e-mail contains no other information. This is therefore quite a quandary. I wonder: What would Jack Bauer do? Without Chloe, I mean. Maybe a query on the Internet's most popular search engine will turn something up.



Well, I most certainly did not mean "Uxocqc"; what kind of retarded gibberish is that? Maybe that one hip new search engine that I have been hearing a lot of buzz about will be able to find something.



Nothing, and no suggestion either. Microsoft Fail.

You know, I did recently get an iPhone, and I have noticed that because the touch-screen keyboard is so hard to use, their autocorrect function is quite smart. For example, it knows that when I type "hsppem" I really mean happen, and when I type "kosets" I really mean losers. You know, like the San Francisco Giants.

So maybe someone just types really sloppy and thought that spellcheck or autocorrect would fix the problem. Maybe it's not Uxoqcqvo that I expressed interest in at all. Maybe it's really one of the following:

Yzowcwvo
Uxiwvavo
Uxowvqci
Uzowcqvo

But none of those terms get any hits on Google whatsoever. Jack Bauer has been foiled!